Why I Won't Be Reading Fifty Shades of Gray

I know I've done a few book reviews, but for the first time I'm going to give you a few reasons why I won't be reading a certain trilogy of books.  I've only recently become aware of the trilogy of books that currently hold the top three spots on the New York Times Best Seller List... The Fifty Shades of Gray.  After learning what the series was about and the popularity with some friends, I thought it necessary to share this article written by Dannah Gresh.


Editor's Note: The popularity of the book Fifty Shades of Grey is growing as more women (and men) pull it off the shelves this summer. Dannah Gresh is a sought-after speaker and author who has studied sexuality in the Bible for more than fifteen years. In this bold article, Gresh shares her concern and wisdom to help ministry leaders approach the book with biblical savvy.

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I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
I wasn’t planning to announce this, but I can’t help myself. I told my husband, Bob, that I didn’t really want to get involved. But then, I found out my girlfriend’s 70-year-old mom has her name on a long wait list at the library to borrow Fifty Shades of Grey. And then my mom told me that a relative I love and respect for her strong faith had already devoured the book. She regretfully “can’t get the images out of her head.”

So here I am. In an attempt to keep the images out of yours, I’d like to explain to you why I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

Reason #1:

Let’s start with the facts. Fifty Shades of Grey is classified as erotic fiction. According to one online dictionary, this genre of literature is defined as that which has “no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire.” I’ve been studying what God says about sexuality for fifteen years. According to Him, there is only one who should stimulate sexual desire in me: my husband. Since that’s God’s plan for my sexual desire, anything other than my husband creating arousal in me would be missing the mark of God’s intention. (Translation: it is sin.) Jesus said it this way: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The same is true of a woman looking at or reading about a man.

Reason #1? I believe reading erotica is sinful.
I guess I could stop there, but it won’t be enough for some of you. So let’s go to reason number two.

Reason #2:

The Bible has said for thousands of years that lust is hurtful and harmful.  Guess what? Biopsychologists and others are studying the effects of lust, pornography, and erotica on the brain and the body. They are finding that the Bible was, in fact, right. Over time, your body becomes conditioned to self-stimulation and gratification. It’s not just a preference. It’s physiological.
The lust cuts a literal pathway in your brain tissue that’s kind of like a rut. A rut you better be prepared to get stuck in. While at first a little bit of erotica might give you a taste for your spouse, overtime that rut reminds you how great you are at self-stimulation and how powerful your imagination can be.  You’ll become less interested in real sex with your husband. (Both SELF magazine and The New Yorker ran articles on this phenomenon in recent years. They both suggested that if you want to have a great sex life, you better push pause on porn!)  The fact is erotica robs you of real sex. It’s not good for your marriage or future marriage.

Reason #3:

OK, we’re girls. And sadly, a few of our guys have looked at porn. How’d that work for ya? How’d it make you feel? Did it cross your mind that you could never compare to the perfection created by lights, camera, and Photoshop? Well, he can’t compare to a plasticized, vanilla interpretation of manhood either.

Reason #4:

Do you know what BDSM is? Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. If you don’t know what those words mean, be glad. If you do know, you should understand that the most damaging part of Fifty Shades of Grey is that God created sex to be a partnership that’s fueled by love and self-giving, not pain and humiliation.  It’s not just that this book misuses sex; it redefines it into something evil and transgressive as the lead character dominates in a hurtful manner. How women can enjoy that, I can’t understand! But I do have a theory. It seems to me that in our emasculating culture there is a hunger so great for strong men that women will stoop to bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism for just a taste. Do yourself a favor, don’t!

You might be wondering if I’ve read the book. I haven’t. I don’t need to. There are many things in this world I need not partake in to discern that they are going to be harmful to me.  God has given me more than fifty shades of truth in His Word and when just one of them is in conflict with my entertainment choices, I choose to pass! To be clear: I wouldn’t drive my Envoy into the front of an oncoming semi-truck any more than I would open the pages of Fifty Shades of Grey. I love my marriage, my God, and myself too much.

If your heart resonates with mine, please take a moment today to post these words on Facebook or Twitter: “I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.” If you have friends who need help understanding why, send them to this blog. I’d be happy to explain!

Dannah Gresh, a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White and 2010’s best-selling CBA youth book, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She says the most important book she has or will ever write is What Are You Waiting For: The One Thing No One Ever Tells You About Sex, which traces the Hebrew language of sexuality from Genesis to Revelation answering every question a heart could ask. She has long been at the forefront of the movement to encourage tweens and teens to be modest and to pursue purity and is the founder of Secret Keeper Girl a live tour event for tween girls and their moms.
More from Dannah Gresh or visit Dannah at purefreedom.org

Travelers Rest - A Book Review

This book set in North Carolina brings together an unlikely cast of characters: a quadriplegic, his fiance, a doctor, a blind pianist, a maid and a host of other minor characters that help the major characters along the way.  As these characters interact, a variety of topics are explored and touched upon.  They include the dynamics between the races during the era of civil rights, the love relationships between those returning from war physically and emotionally different than when they left and where to find love in a lifetime of hurt.  The novel did hold my interest along the way and it was interesting how it all played out and the lessons the characters learned.  However, I found the events so very unlikely that it was almost unbelievable to me.

As in most Christian fiction, God's love is usually evident and intertwined throughout the story.  In this book, it was there.  However, I found it so very subtle that it may have even been a bit confusing to a casual reader. 

I received a complimentary copy Travelers Rest by Ann Tatlock from Bethany House Publishers.

Look Who's Four!

Andrew David turned four yesterday and was he ever excited.  The best part of the day for me was when he thought his birthday was the next day and I informed him that it was in fact this very day.  His grin and his look didn't need the explanation he gave of, "it's my birthday!"  We didn't do too much yesterday.  However, he did request a piggy birthday cake.  I'm not sure why my trio thinks that I have artistic abilities, but birthdays seem to stretch my rather non-existent talent.  I'm so thankful for google images.  I can copy simple pictures :)  Anyway, we ended the day with cake and ice cream of his choice (chocolate chip cookie dough this time around) followed by present opening.  He received a carpet with rugs and city buildings on it.  Andrew has graciously shared this with his siblings and so far it has provided tons of entertainment for all of them!

A Special Visit

As part of our vacation, we took a short detour and spent a few minutes with my Grandpa.  Since I last saw him, he had to say good-bye to his beloved farm and go live in a nursing home.  I was so very glad that it worked out for us to see him.  It had been awhile and he just needed visitors.  We chatted about people I vaguely remember from my growing up years when we'd go visit my Grandparents on their farm and what all my cousins are currently up to.  I think my kids may have gotten a bit bored, but they did great.  It made me a bit sad to leave him there, but I had no other option.  I was glad the kids got to see him again.  It is the only Great-Grandparent they have living.  Sooo thankful for that visit!

Summer Vacation

We just returned home from a nearly two week vacation.  We had a really good time and did so much.  We didn't go home last Christmas.  I've decided I would much rather travel in the summer!  It was so much nicer to be able to stop and have picnic lunches as well as have the kids enjoy outside play equipment rather than the inside ones at your local fast food joint.  Our time was full of visiting family (both sides), friends, a museum, a zoo, a farm and just being together as a family.  We loved camping and were blessed with just a very brief shower the second night of our travels.  We couldn't get enough of the pleasant 70-80 degree weather we had opposed to the nearly 100 degree temps that we have had since sometime in April.  Here are just a few pictures of our time away.  I could bore you with more, but for now, this should do.

 

We found this construction guy at the welcome center in Missouri.  Of course, Luke had to have his picture taken with one of his favorite things - construction cones.

 

A bicycle built for four.  The first campground we stopped at had bikes that could be rented.  We had so much fun riding this one and another one around the campground.  We did squeeze all three kids in the front while Chris and I provided the pedal power.  That was a lot of work.  It wasn't the easiest thing to operate to begin with, but add 120 pounds in the front and it will give you a bonified workout!

We, of course, had to visit the United States Air Force Museum at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio.

We met up with Chris's family to camp with them for a few days - Chris's family on the left, Chris's parents in the middle and his sister's, Jennifer, on the right.

The kids really enjoyed visiting cousins and friends.  Here are a few friends, kids of a couple that we've known since before we were both dating.

My beloved Indiana countryside not too far from my parents' home.

We visited with a friend of mine from high school.  They have a farm and enjoyed showing us their farm.  The kids enjoyed playing with their kittens, feeding the chickens and gathering eggs, and seeing their 4-H cows.  What a neat evening!

Our final stop - the St Louis Zoo.  Chris and I had been there before, but I'd forgotten what a nice zoo it is.  It was also a great place to work out some of the extra energy before putting in more miles on our way home.

The Fiddler - A Book Review

Beverly Lewis has been one of my more favorite authors through the years.  So I didn't hesitate when I picked this book up to read.  The book begins and ends with the Amish man giving a first person account as to what is going on in his life.  The main part of the book, though, tells in story format how two worlds collide - Amish and English - using music as the tie that binds the story together.

I enjoyed this book and it was an easy, simple read making the miles quickly fly by as we took a recent road trip.  However, I did find it mostly predictable.  Beverly Lewis did not waver from her usual story line.  I even felt that about half way through she began to summarize parts of the story rather than sticking to her normal format.  I did enjoy seeing some of the same characters in this book as in other Lancaster County books.   

 This review was completed after receiving a free copy from Bethany House Publishers.

Happy Birthday, Chris!

We had a very busy and eventful day.  Plus, it was my dear husband's birthday.  He volunteered to do the running portion of a triathlon, volunteered at church and then we came home and crashed a bit before packing for a trip.  It's not been the grandest way to celebrate one that means so much.  We did have cake and ice cream this evening and the kids were very excited to give him gifts.  Luke made sure he got a package of Twizzlers, Hannah picked out bubbles and Andrew wanted him to have a wiffle ball and bat.  He does have a bigger gift coming, but he'll have to wait a few more days to play with his new at-home weather station. 

In the mean time, I just wanted to give a special shout-out to Chris that works so very hard, is the very steady (nothing much rocks his world) influence in my life, plays just as hard as he works and loves each of us in our home. 

Happy Birthday, Chris!

Triathlon - Team Style

This morning, the base held a "short" distances triathlon.  I don't remember how long the adult swim was, but it also included a 10 mile bike ride followed by a three mile run.  Chris rounded out one team by running the 3 mile portion.  They also had a kid division.  Luke qualified to participate in the 6-9 age group.  For that age group, they did one lap the width of the pool.  The swimmer of his team did a great job with an awesome back stroke.  Luke completed the 2 mile bike ride.  My biggest concern was that he would get lost.  Chris ran with him about half the time and he did just fine.  The runner of the group finished up for the team running very quickly for such a little girl.  Overall, I think Luke's team came in just under 20 minutes.  Next year, I think we'll see if Luke can do the entire thing by himself.  I'm thinking he can do it!

 Ready to go

 Runner, Swimmer & Biker

 First Hand-off

 Leaving for his 2 mile ride

 They had the job of cheering!

 The finish line!

 Second hand-off

 Runner across the finish line - we're done!